Couples & Relationship Coaching
Its not easy being married. It’s not easy living with another person period. To make matters more challenging, modern life leaves us far less equipped to deal with the challenges of creating a happy healthy partnership. Social media has set up unrealistic expectataions of what happpiness looks like. The proliferation of pornography has created its on challendes in partnered relationships. The shifting patterns of gender roles from tradtional to new and emerging patterns leaves many confused. The normal issues around trust and finances are as old as time, and those persist. Further, I am noticing through my workshop work that in addition to the traditional profile of couples that have been together but have now grown aprat, I am seeing new and newer couples who seem to struggle from the outset.
If you are reading this together, that means that you are committed to making things better. If you are researching and reading this alson, please share it with your partner and get their take. Improving a relationship, solving sexual issues, trust issues, financial issues takes work. And it talkes a ommitment form both partners. There is no reason to pay money to see a coach or therapist who just lets you argue in the office, without shining some light on what’s underneath the angry and hurt feelings. My approcah is very candid, honest, relaxed and open. I am not able to solve every issue. Most of my work was grounded in intimacy and touch, Working with couples to regain spark and learn how get maximum enjoyment form touch has led to the couples coaching. Time spent on hands on work was being shifted to talking. It is important to try and get at the root causes before creating greater intimacy.
If you are reading this together, that means that you are committed to making things better. If you are researching and reading this alson, please share it with your partner and get their take. Improving a relationship, solving sexual issues, trust issues, financial issues takes work. And it talkes a ommitment form both partners. There is no reason to pay money to see a coach or therapist who just lets you argue in the office, without shining some light on what’s underneath the angry and hurt feelings. My approcah is very candid, honest, relaxed and open. I am not able to solve every issue. Most of my work was grounded in intimacy and touch, Working with couples to regain spark and learn how get maximum enjoyment form touch has led to the couples coaching. Time spent on hands on work was being shifted to talking. It is important to try and get at the root causes before creating greater intimacy.
For couples:
Having sexual issues is terrifying and often feels shameful. I’d like you to know that most of these upsetting sexual problems have solutions. I know that you feel concerned, and possibly even hopeless and frightened about addressing them. If the problems were simple, you could have solved them yourself.Listen, it’s not your job to be able to solve these problems yourself. You can’t be your own doctor. You don’t have the knowledge. You don’t have the practice. If you’re in a couple, you don’t have the objectivity to get through the hurt and disappointed feelings.
I have been working with individuals and couples with all of these sexual issues as an AASECT-certified sex therapist and Diplomate for well over two decades, and I have received national and international recognition for my work. Over these decades, I have learned a lot, through clinical experience, teaching other professionals, getting advanced training, innovating, -- and sometimes-- experimentation. See About Dr. Z for more info
I have developed strategies, techniques, resources and relationships with other professionals that help me solve these sexual problems. Let me give you a little idea about what the treatment process might be for some of these vexing issues.
If you’ve never been comfortable with your sexuality or never had desire, I will always take a bio-psycho-social approach. I can help you assess where you have come from using my Milestones of Sexual Development Model (Click for Link).
Through our sex therapy sessions, we can assess and work through some of the deeper issues which have inhibited you. And I will connect you to some wonderful medical professionals, who can check to see whether there are any underlying hormonal issues which have derailed your sexual development. This can be a longer process than some other simpler sexual problems, but it’s incredibly gratifying, because you will get to feel much more whole and your self-esteem and sexual self-esteem will blossom.
If you’re pre-orgasmic, and you’re a woman, you’re in luck. There are wonderful books and movies that will assist us in teaching you about your body. I know what all the resources are. You’ll learn to be relaxed in your body, and you’ll get comfortable with masturbation. As neuropsychologists are fond of saying, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” The brain is plastic, and you will learn how to feel comfortable allowing yourself to get aroused enough to orgasm. What a great feeling!
Couples work involves me being able to create a safe place where you two can talk about painful sexual issues and disappointments in a secure, neutral, holding environment. I think that my age, my sense of humor, and my clinical skills all work together in an important way here.
For instance, when I work with couples who are not in synch sexually, we do a lot of exploration. We look at what your sexual relationship was like in the beginning, often when things worked better, and then we explore what has changed. I have a special assessment tool which helps us systematically look at what each of you likes and does not like sexually. We can talk about this safely, with no recrimination. And I’m there as a neutral listener who is paying really close attention to what each of you is saying, so I can correct any ways you are not hearing each other and soothe any hurt feelings. Together, we can work on trying out some new sexual moves and activities, which might bridge the pleasure gap between you. Sometimes, there are easy solutions. For instance, using my sexual activities data collection form, we can pinpoint a time when one of you made a comment or a criticism that hurt the other person and shut them down.
I often use the BodyMap exercises I developed in working with couples. (Click Here to see my SexSmartBodyMaps©) It’s common that one or both of you have not been comfortable talking about the ways he or she do and do not like to be touched. Once lust is gone, for many people, arousal depends on getting the kind of touch that you like. Sharing BodyMaps, the two of you can learn to up your pleasure quotient.
When I work with couples in happy but sexless marriages (what I called the “Panda Syndrome” in SexTalk), it’s honestly never a short process, but over time, we usually can reestablish a sexual connection. We begin by taking a full history of what each of you feel led you personally to retreat from sex.
It’s not unusual to have to sort through assorted hurts and disappointments and misunderstandings. There may be sexual dysfunctions that created hurt and disappointment, and we have to work together to either solve the dysfunction or to navigate around it (which is totally do-able, if you can give up a perfectionistic view of sex.) It’s sometimes a good idea to incorporate watching erotica together, because that gets the engines going.
Often, we have to go through a grieving process, because years, and often decades, of pleasurable sexual connection have been lost. But it’s worth it. Because a sexual connection is a powerful glue that holds the two of you together even more tightly than you are now.
- Does it feel like you are incompatible sexually?
- Do you fight over the frequency of sex?
- Has a sexual dysfunction such as a pain disorder or premature ejaculation created a pattern where you have come to dread sex?
- Are you unhappy in a sexless marriage?
- Are you trying to heal from infidelity?
Having sexual issues is terrifying and often feels shameful. I’d like you to know that most of these upsetting sexual problems have solutions. I know that you feel concerned, and possibly even hopeless and frightened about addressing them. If the problems were simple, you could have solved them yourself.Listen, it’s not your job to be able to solve these problems yourself. You can’t be your own doctor. You don’t have the knowledge. You don’t have the practice. If you’re in a couple, you don’t have the objectivity to get through the hurt and disappointed feelings.
I have been working with individuals and couples with all of these sexual issues as an AASECT-certified sex therapist and Diplomate for well over two decades, and I have received national and international recognition for my work. Over these decades, I have learned a lot, through clinical experience, teaching other professionals, getting advanced training, innovating, -- and sometimes-- experimentation. See About Dr. Z for more info
I have developed strategies, techniques, resources and relationships with other professionals that help me solve these sexual problems. Let me give you a little idea about what the treatment process might be for some of these vexing issues.
If you’ve never been comfortable with your sexuality or never had desire, I will always take a bio-psycho-social approach. I can help you assess where you have come from using my Milestones of Sexual Development Model (Click for Link).
Through our sex therapy sessions, we can assess and work through some of the deeper issues which have inhibited you. And I will connect you to some wonderful medical professionals, who can check to see whether there are any underlying hormonal issues which have derailed your sexual development. This can be a longer process than some other simpler sexual problems, but it’s incredibly gratifying, because you will get to feel much more whole and your self-esteem and sexual self-esteem will blossom.
If you’re pre-orgasmic, and you’re a woman, you’re in luck. There are wonderful books and movies that will assist us in teaching you about your body. I know what all the resources are. You’ll learn to be relaxed in your body, and you’ll get comfortable with masturbation. As neuropsychologists are fond of saying, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” The brain is plastic, and you will learn how to feel comfortable allowing yourself to get aroused enough to orgasm. What a great feeling!
Couples work involves me being able to create a safe place where you two can talk about painful sexual issues and disappointments in a secure, neutral, holding environment. I think that my age, my sense of humor, and my clinical skills all work together in an important way here.
For instance, when I work with couples who are not in synch sexually, we do a lot of exploration. We look at what your sexual relationship was like in the beginning, often when things worked better, and then we explore what has changed. I have a special assessment tool which helps us systematically look at what each of you likes and does not like sexually. We can talk about this safely, with no recrimination. And I’m there as a neutral listener who is paying really close attention to what each of you is saying, so I can correct any ways you are not hearing each other and soothe any hurt feelings. Together, we can work on trying out some new sexual moves and activities, which might bridge the pleasure gap between you. Sometimes, there are easy solutions. For instance, using my sexual activities data collection form, we can pinpoint a time when one of you made a comment or a criticism that hurt the other person and shut them down.
I often use the BodyMap exercises I developed in working with couples. (Click Here to see my SexSmartBodyMaps©) It’s common that one or both of you have not been comfortable talking about the ways he or she do and do not like to be touched. Once lust is gone, for many people, arousal depends on getting the kind of touch that you like. Sharing BodyMaps, the two of you can learn to up your pleasure quotient.
When I work with couples in happy but sexless marriages (what I called the “Panda Syndrome” in SexTalk), it’s honestly never a short process, but over time, we usually can reestablish a sexual connection. We begin by taking a full history of what each of you feel led you personally to retreat from sex.
It’s not unusual to have to sort through assorted hurts and disappointments and misunderstandings. There may be sexual dysfunctions that created hurt and disappointment, and we have to work together to either solve the dysfunction or to navigate around it (which is totally do-able, if you can give up a perfectionistic view of sex.) It’s sometimes a good idea to incorporate watching erotica together, because that gets the engines going.
Often, we have to go through a grieving process, because years, and often decades, of pleasurable sexual connection have been lost. But it’s worth it. Because a sexual connection is a powerful glue that holds the two of you together even more tightly than you are now.
Aloha Coaching - Relationship & Individual Coaching
Aloha Coaching is based on simple, ancient principles & ideas.
These principles can help guide you to a more meaningful, satisfying and rewarding life. Love (especially unconditional love), Mindfulness (being present), Honesty, Gratitude, Forgiveness ( Ho'oponopono) are all qualities in one's own control.
Whereas most therapies look to diagnose and relieve patients of problematic issues and symptoms, Aloha Coaching takes a radically different approach. Rather than getting rid of problems, its focus is on building character so you can take action regardless of your symptoms, fears, emotions, wishes, or anything else that may be holding you back.
Mindfulness.
Mindfulness, in part is about knowing what is controllable and what is not controllable, and being able to see what is so and act without attachment to expectations.
"Edward is one of those rare people with a gift - gifts actually. Sensitive, calm demeanor. Honest, logical, thoughtful and encouraging. He embodies the spirit of Aloha".
For Couples
Couples Coaching
• In person 60 min $200 • Remote via phone 60 min $200 • In home 60 min $200 * * plus travel |
• Restore Intimacy / Create Spark • Sexual Issues • Improve Communication / Re-Build Trust • Understanding Love Languages • Conflict Resolution • Find balance • Discover & Break Old Patterns • Live a Better, Happier More Fulfilling Life |
For Indivduals
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Individual Coaching
• In person 60 min $160 • Remote via phone 60 min $160 • In home 60 min $160 * * plus travel |
• Find Balance
• Reduce Stress / Mindfulness • Discover & Break Old Patterns • Improve Communication Skills • Conflict Management • Divorce / Separation Coaching - • Unlock your Full Potential • Live a Better, Happier More Fulfilling Life • Professional, Financial & Business Mentoring |
For more information on Couples Workshops and retreats, go here
FAQ's
What is a Life Coach
A life coach is someone who helps individuals and couples "get unstuck", or helps with motivation, communication - in short to get what you want out of life, whether it is an interpersonal problem, a career impasse, relationships.
A life coach helps guide clients identify and reach their ultimate goals.
A life coach can help individuals in different areas of their life. But because each human being is different, so will their goals differ.
Sometimes, you come to a crossroads in life. It might come in the form of a mid or quarter-life crisis or existential questioning. It might show up at the heels of a big career change or commitment. It might even present itself when you’ve already decided to start over in life — but you’re not sure where to go next.
In the past decade, the coaching industry has grown exponentially. According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there are about 71,000 coaches worldwide.
A life coach helps guide clients identify and reach their ultimate goals.
A life coach can help individuals in different areas of their life. But because each human being is different, so will their goals differ.
Sometimes, you come to a crossroads in life. It might come in the form of a mid or quarter-life crisis or existential questioning. It might show up at the heels of a big career change or commitment. It might even present itself when you’ve already decided to start over in life — but you’re not sure where to go next.
In the past decade, the coaching industry has grown exponentially. According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there are about 71,000 coaches worldwide.
How does life coaching compare to therapy
Life Coaching IS NOT therapy.
Life coaches do not deal with mental illness; depression, past trauma.
If you have mental health issues you should seek the advice of a licensed or certified therapist or psychiatrist or mental health counselor.
While life coaching and therapy are both focused on improving people’s well-being, there are distinct differences. Therapists require certain educational and license prerequisites to provide mental health care treatment.
Coaching, however, is focused on personal and professional development. Coaches will help their clients build and utilize the right tools to reach their goals but don’t (and shouldn’t) offer clinical mental health care.
Life coaches do not deal with mental illness; depression, past trauma.
If you have mental health issues you should seek the advice of a licensed or certified therapist or psychiatrist or mental health counselor.
While life coaching and therapy are both focused on improving people’s well-being, there are distinct differences. Therapists require certain educational and license prerequisites to provide mental health care treatment.
Coaching, however, is focused on personal and professional development. Coaches will help their clients build and utilize the right tools to reach their goals but don’t (and shouldn’t) offer clinical mental health care.
relationship Coaching vs. couples therapy or marriage counseling
Relationship Coaching is for relationship improvement If your goal is to make a relationship work, re-ignite spark, resolve old or ongoing issues, improve sexual intimacy, restore trust, reduce conflict, increase connection, have better communication, get on the same page around parenting or finances, create alignment around your hopes and goals, and grow together – without the presence of mental health symptoms – your needs would likely be better met through a positive, strengths-based relationship coaching approach rather than a “therapeutic one.”
Couples generally make much more progress and create more change when they are assisted in focusing on the present and the future rather than the past. The exception being couples healing their relationship after an affair or other regrettable incident. A good relationship coach will help you understand each other and yourselves in a new way, create clear and meaningful relationship goals, and then help you create a plan of action that leads to real and lasting change in your day-to-day partnership.
Couples generally make much more progress and create more change when they are assisted in focusing on the present and the future rather than the past. The exception being couples healing their relationship after an affair or other regrettable incident. A good relationship coach will help you understand each other and yourselves in a new way, create clear and meaningful relationship goals, and then help you create a plan of action that leads to real and lasting change in your day-to-day partnership.
Do you take insurance
Aloha Coaching is considered an out-of-network provider with all insurances, meaning we do not contract directly with insurance and we do not submit the claims. We do provide our clients with a superbill that they submit to insurance for direct reimbursement. It is important to reach out to your insurance and ask what your out-of-network benefits are. We have some clients that get 100% and some that get nothing, it really depends on the plan Check your out-of-network benefits. We can also accept payment via HSA and FSA cards in many instances.
We will help facilitate this process by providing you with a claim form or a 'super-bill' that you can then submit to your insurance company. We recommend that you contact your insurance company in advance to find out what your out-of-network benefits are. For a helpful worksheet on this, click here.
We will help facilitate this process by providing you with a claim form or a 'super-bill' that you can then submit to your insurance company. We recommend that you contact your insurance company in advance to find out what your out-of-network benefits are. For a helpful worksheet on this, click here.
How is aloha coaching different than other coaching
In one sense, I cannot say for sure as I do not track or compare what others are doing. In another sense, I can say that my approach to clients and my work is different. I don't compete but rather stick to my own knitting.
I have no large Instagram presence, I sell no products, books or quick fixes. I don't offer magic pills. The work is up to you. I have no specialized "modalities" or multiple certifications. My work emanates from my own struggles, successes, personal growth, challenges and observations about life and the world. I ask candid probing questions. I encourage honesty and openness. I am able to discuss and and converse around uncomfortable topics generally with ease. I hope the you find me through research and something in what you read makes a connection.
Everything starts with a connection.
I am not for everyone, nor is everyone for me. If something on this site resonates with you and you think I can be of help, lets talk.
I have no large Instagram presence, I sell no products, books or quick fixes. I don't offer magic pills. The work is up to you. I have no specialized "modalities" or multiple certifications. My work emanates from my own struggles, successes, personal growth, challenges and observations about life and the world. I ask candid probing questions. I encourage honesty and openness. I am able to discuss and and converse around uncomfortable topics generally with ease. I hope the you find me through research and something in what you read makes a connection.
Everything starts with a connection.
I am not for everyone, nor is everyone for me. If something on this site resonates with you and you think I can be of help, lets talk.
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AWARD WINNING
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