Transform your relationship into a love affair !
Couples Intimacy & Relationship Coaching
Aloha Coaching is based on simple, ancient principles & ideas.
These principles can help guide you to a more meaningful, satisfying and rewarding life. Love (especially unconditional love), Mindfulness (being present), Honesty, Gratitude, Forgiveness ( Ho'oponopono) are all qualities in one's own control.
Whereas most therapies look to diagnose and relieve patients of problematic issues and symptoms, Aloha Coaching takes a radically different approach. Rather than getting rid of problems, its focus is on building character so you can take action regardless of your symptoms, fears, emotions, wishes, or anything else that may be holding you back.
Mindfulness.
Mindfulness, in part is about knowing what is controllable and what is not controllable, and being able to see what is so and act without attachment to expectations.
My beliefs:
How I work:
This my disappoint you or it may attract you but I don't not adhere to any specific "modalities" or "programs". Many of these programs are like fad diets, in one day, replaced with a new clever sounding one the next. There is often a bullet point approach, and often the same one regardless of the issue. I draw from my own experiences, my own personal growth and mistakes, my ability to read people and my years of experience working with couples just like you in my workshops. I can almost guarantee that whatever challenges you are facing, I have seen it and so have you - in your friend circle or people you know. There are no new problems.
I am also careful in who I choose to work with. If I don't think I can be helpful to you, I will be honest and say so, and respectfully decline.
Ways in which my coaching can be helpful:
I typically have an initial consultation of at least 2-3 hours. From there some couples prefer to meet once or twice a month. Some couples prefer to meet on a weekly basis, or enjoy a deeper dive into the work over a short period of time with longer sessions, daily sessions or intensives. (longer sessions scheduled over several days). Couples who are highly motivated to work on their relationship and eager to do the work often appreciate the option of a deep dive or retreat.
Couple intensives, destination-based sessions, or in-home therapy is available for those couples who wish to have a bespoke experience. Click here for more information.
- I believe that relationships take work and that they are hard to do well.
- I believe that couples coaching should help you both grow as an individual and as a couple. I do not believe couples coaching should be used as a space to just complain about your partner, but instead a place to learn and grow.
- I believe that with the proper coaching, most couples can transform their relationships
- I believe that the personal growth from coaching can help individuals with all of their relationships; friends, family, colleagues, etc.
How I work:
- I speak candidly and pose challenging questions. I will tell you honestly about what I see - strengths and weaknesses.
- I do not give explicit guidance or instruction, but rather suggest. I offer options and alternative ways to look at any given issue.
- I am not a therapist and coaching is not a replacement for therapy.
- I work extensively with exercises both verbal and through touch that create and strengthen intimacy.
This my disappoint you or it may attract you but I don't not adhere to any specific "modalities" or "programs". Many of these programs are like fad diets, in one day, replaced with a new clever sounding one the next. There is often a bullet point approach, and often the same one regardless of the issue. I draw from my own experiences, my own personal growth and mistakes, my ability to read people and my years of experience working with couples just like you in my workshops. I can almost guarantee that whatever challenges you are facing, I have seen it and so have you - in your friend circle or people you know. There are no new problems.
I am also careful in who I choose to work with. If I don't think I can be helpful to you, I will be honest and say so, and respectfully decline.
Ways in which my coaching can be helpful:
- Addressing sexual difficulties (e.g., desire discrepancy, sexual dysfunction/pain, past sexual trauma, out-of-control sexual behaviors, infidelity) and being able to articulate your sexual needs and desires with your partner(s).
- Teaching you to better read and understand the verbal and non-verbal signals and cues that you send to each other. Understanding what things that you both do that contribute to fueling conflicts. Helping you to understand why threatening to end the relationship, shutting down, unbridled self-expression, and/or refusing to work towards repair is a threat to secure functioning.
- Learning how to argue more skillfully.
- Identifying thirds: “Thirds” are anything that fuel conflict and jeopardize the safety and security of your relationship: kids, in-laws, ex-partners, work commitments, coworkers, technology, extracurricular activities, drugs and/or alcohol.
- Identifying power imbalances in the relationship and encouraging each partner to adjust their relationship with power.
I typically have an initial consultation of at least 2-3 hours. From there some couples prefer to meet once or twice a month. Some couples prefer to meet on a weekly basis, or enjoy a deeper dive into the work over a short period of time with longer sessions, daily sessions or intensives. (longer sessions scheduled over several days). Couples who are highly motivated to work on their relationship and eager to do the work often appreciate the option of a deep dive or retreat.
Couple intensives, destination-based sessions, or in-home therapy is available for those couples who wish to have a bespoke experience. Click here for more information.
Couples Coaching involves me being able to create a safe space where you two can talk about painful issues and disappointments in a secure, neutral, holding environment.
I think that my age, my sense of humor, my comfortableness around uncomfortable topics, my honesty, my life experiences, my intuition and my work with other couples all combine in an important way here.
I think that my age, my sense of humor, my comfortableness around uncomfortable topics, my honesty, my life experiences, my intuition and my work with other couples all combine in an important way here.
"Edward is one of those rare people with a gift - gifts actually. Sensitive, calm demeanor. Honest, logical, thoughtful and encouraging. He embodies the spirit of Aloha".
FAQ's
What is a COUPLES Coach
A couples coach is someone who helps couples and individuals "get unstuck", helps restore intimacy, helps improve communication - in short to get what you want out of your relationship.
A couples coach helps guide clients identify and reach their ultimate goals.
A couples coach can help individuals and couples in different and unique ways. But because each human being is different, so will each relationship be different. That said there are many challenges that are common to relationships.
Sometimes, you come to a crossroads in life. It might come in the form of a mid or quarter-life crisis or existential questioning. It might show up at the heels of a big career change or empty nesting. It may appear at the beginning of a relationship, or resulting from a trust betrayal. You may wish to reconnect and find your way back ut unsure how to get unstuck or where to go next. next.
In the past decade, the coaching industry has grown exponentially. According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there are about 71,000 coaches worldwide.
A couples coach helps guide clients identify and reach their ultimate goals.
A couples coach can help individuals and couples in different and unique ways. But because each human being is different, so will each relationship be different. That said there are many challenges that are common to relationships.
Sometimes, you come to a crossroads in life. It might come in the form of a mid or quarter-life crisis or existential questioning. It might show up at the heels of a big career change or empty nesting. It may appear at the beginning of a relationship, or resulting from a trust betrayal. You may wish to reconnect and find your way back ut unsure how to get unstuck or where to go next. next.
In the past decade, the coaching industry has grown exponentially. According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there are about 71,000 coaches worldwide.
How does coaching compare to therapy
Coaching IS NOT therapy.
Coaches do not deal with mental illness; depression, past trauma.
If you have mental health issues you should seek the advice of a licensed or certified therapist or psychiatrist or mental health counselor.
While life coaching and therapy are both focused on improving people’s well-being, there are distinct differences. Therapists require certain educational and license prerequisites to provide mental health care treatment.
Coaching, however, is focused on personal and sometimes professional development. Coaches will help their clients build and utilize the right tools to reach their goals but don’t (and shouldn’t) offer clinical mental health care.
Coaches do not deal with mental illness; depression, past trauma.
If you have mental health issues you should seek the advice of a licensed or certified therapist or psychiatrist or mental health counselor.
While life coaching and therapy are both focused on improving people’s well-being, there are distinct differences. Therapists require certain educational and license prerequisites to provide mental health care treatment.
Coaching, however, is focused on personal and sometimes professional development. Coaches will help their clients build and utilize the right tools to reach their goals but don’t (and shouldn’t) offer clinical mental health care.
relationship Coaching vs. couples therapy or marriage counseling
Relationship Coaching is for relationship improvement If your goal is to make a relationship work, re-ignite spark, resolve old or ongoing issues, improve sexual intimacy, restore trust, reduce conflict, increase connection, have better communication, get on the same page around parenting or finances, create alignment around your hopes and goals, and grow together – without the presence of mental health symptoms – your needs would likely be better met through a positive, strengths-based relationship coaching approach rather than a “therapeutic one.”
Couples generally make much more progress and create more change when they are assisted in focusing on the present and the future rather than the past. The exception being couples healing their relationship after an affair or other regrettable incident. A good relationship coach will help you understand each other and yourselves in a new way, create clear and meaningful relationship goals, and then help you create a plan of action that leads to real and lasting change in your day-to-day partnership.
Couples generally make much more progress and create more change when they are assisted in focusing on the present and the future rather than the past. The exception being couples healing their relationship after an affair or other regrettable incident. A good relationship coach will help you understand each other and yourselves in a new way, create clear and meaningful relationship goals, and then help you create a plan of action that leads to real and lasting change in your day-to-day partnership.
Do you take insurance
Aloha Coaching is considered an out-of-network provider with all insurances, meaning we do not contract directly with insurance and we do not submit the claims. We do provide our clients with a superbill that they submit to insurance for direct reimbursement. It is important to reach out to your insurance and ask what your out-of-network benefits are. We have some clients that get 100% and some that get nothing, it really depends on the plan Check your out-of-network benefits. We can also accept payment via HSA and FSA cards in many instances.
We will help facilitate this process by providing you with a claim form or a 'super-bill' that you can then submit to your insurance company. We recommend that you contact your insurance company in advance to find out what your out-of-network benefits are. For a helpful worksheet on this, click here.
We will help facilitate this process by providing you with a claim form or a 'super-bill' that you can then submit to your insurance company. We recommend that you contact your insurance company in advance to find out what your out-of-network benefits are. For a helpful worksheet on this, click here.
How is aloha coaching different than other coaching
In one sense, I cannot say for sure as I do not track or compare what others are doing. In another sense, I can say that my approach to clients and my work is different. I don't compete but rather stick to my own knitting.
I have no large Instagram presence, I sell no products, books or quick fixes. I don't offer magic pills. The work is up to you. I have no specialized "modalities" or multiple certifications. My work emanates from my own struggles, successes, personal growth, challenges and observations about life and the world. I ask candid probing questions. I encourage honesty and openness. I am able to discuss and and converse around uncomfortable topics generally with ease. I hope the you find me through research and something in what you read makes a connection.
Everything starts with a connection.
I am not for everyone, nor is everyone for me. If something on this site resonates with you and you think I can be of help, lets talk.
I have no large Instagram presence, I sell no products, books or quick fixes. I don't offer magic pills. The work is up to you. I have no specialized "modalities" or multiple certifications. My work emanates from my own struggles, successes, personal growth, challenges and observations about life and the world. I ask candid probing questions. I encourage honesty and openness. I am able to discuss and and converse around uncomfortable topics generally with ease. I hope the you find me through research and something in what you read makes a connection.
Everything starts with a connection.
I am not for everyone, nor is everyone for me. If something on this site resonates with you and you think I can be of help, lets talk.
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AWARD WINNING
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